Sunday, February 10, 2008

Oh yeah...My Uterus...

The test went well last Thursday. My fibroid near my cervix is dying. Thankfully, it never was a problem anyway. It just likes to give me a ton of pain. The test wasn't horrible but, I had pelvic spasms for two days afterwards.

I have the all clear to start another fresh cycle with my next period. I told the doctor on his way out of the exam room that I better not fall through the cracks this cycle. He is great. I just think his head nurse is overwhelmed and could use some help. I learned in my last cycle that I need to manage my care and not leave it up to the professionals.

My co-worker, A, received a positive BETA on friday. It was her fifth cycle and long deserved. I was very happy for her and a bit sad for me. When I told my hubbie, he became more hopeful for us. He said if A could succeed after the hell she went through than we could too. I wish I could have his optimism! I keep telling him that as long as he remains positive, I have no choice but to be negative. You know, ying/yang, the balance of life.

My shoulders are tired of carrying the reality of our situation. But, I am working on being more positive. I really am. I tried to go back to acupuncture this weekend. It turns out my Dr. was away in China. Now I am going away this weekend for a week. As soon as I get back to NYC, I will start again. It will be just in time for my next cycle.

I seem to be running out of coping techniques. Thank god for this blogging community.

6 comments:

Lori said...

Hopefully all the stars will align with this next cycle.

Portia P said...

Glad you're all clear to start.

Good news on your co-worker. It's always bitter sweet when someone gets a BFP, but i especially like it when they've done a few IVF's - gives me hope.

Lisa said...

Hey, I have a fibroid near my cervix too! Sorry. I so rarely get to say such a thing IRL. Great that you are good to go for a new cycle.

Best wishes to you,
Lisa at infertileground.com

(And I say that so you know that I found you from my comments; unfortunately, it also exposes that I can't figure out how to switch my blogger identity so that it links back to the IF blog instead of my other one.)

Kami said...

Thanks for posting on my blog - it was good to reconnect with your journey.

My husband and I switch who is more positive - mostly it is my husband. It is his nature. I have also felt the weight on my shoulders because it feels like I know the reality while DH believes in hope.

I hope you find a path that works for you soon. The funny thing is I started a local support group and 2 others currently pg with DE - just recently pg - but both had an easy transition. This is their first IVF (one had a balanced translocation and didn't want to risk her eggs and the other had POF), DE was easy to accept and voila! Both expecting twins.

I think when you want your own genetics more and the journey has been longer, it is harder to move on.

TABI said...

Great news that you are in the clear to start again! It takes so long to get to that point so now you can look forward to a new start. It is good to hear someone getting a BFP on their 5th try. I hope I don't have to do this 5 times but if I have to then it's reassuring to know that it can still happen!

Freyja said...

I think what Kami said above is pretty insightful... more so than anything I've got. I guess I just wanted to let you know I'm reading and rooting for you (even if a bit late).