Monday, January 14, 2008

NEXT STEP DECIDED!

We are taking a vacation!!!!! Mr. G and I will be headed down to New Orleans in February. It will be my first time. We will just miss Mardi Gras but, as my hubby explains, "it always a party in New Orleans"!

I was so devastated after my last failed attempt at getting pregnant. It was one part another failure, one part holiday blues and two parts hormones!!! My brain just reacts horribly when I stop the hormones. I am sooo expecting post-pardum depression when I finally give birth to my baby. IF sucks!!!

Mr. G was ready to roll right into another cycle. A week ago, I couldn't imagine doing another one ever. I was in so much pain. Not the physical kind, the emotional kind. I just didn't know if I would ever feel good again. And, here I am excited about my upcoming trip. I hate that I am delaying the resolution of my treatments because I could conceive on my next try. I just need a moment to feel sort of like my old self again. I need to feel as whole as I can right now. I NEED SOME FUN!!. Mr. G did not understand at first but, he could clearly tell I was hurting. So, Mr. Fix-It came to the rescue and planned us a trip.

Also, I have dug myself into a hole at work and need to pull myself out of it quick. It is so difficult to concentrate on anything except my fertility. Not a good place to be. I woke up in a sweat the other night worrying about everything I need to do to keep my job. The next six months are going to be insane. I really have to start focusing or I will risk getting reprimanded or fired. Thankfully, my boss has been so compassionate with my IF plight so far. (His BFF had suffered IF and eventually adopted from Russia). I would love to be able to quit work and focus on the last of my treatments. But, at the same time having a job to go to five days a week has helped me to stay sane.

Ya 'no, what's a working girl to do???!!!!!

7 comments:

TABI said...

Have a great trip to New Orleans! I think a break is always a good thing! I am also struggling with what to do for a good work situation during IVF treatments. It's so hard to get a good balance.

Melanie said...

You got yourself a good man. Enjoy yourself. Eat some jambalaya and some etouffe and wash it down with a hurricane (the drink). Having just returned from a week's vacation (happy sigh), I assure you it will mend your spirits. Enjoy!

Swim said...

Ahh.. a vacation sounds perfect for you right now!! I'm totally jealous though. Have a HUGE hurricane (the drink) for me at Pat O'Briens.

Schatzi said...

New Orleans sounds fabulous. A great distraction, and a lot of FUN!

The Baby Chase said...

Huzzah! An emergency vacation! We took one of those in November. Couldn't afford it, couldn't spare the leave from work, but just didn't care. Just having something good to anticipate made it worth the cost.

Our week in Puerto Rico was really nice, but it was kind of strange as well. I'd be having a great time, then suddenly think, "wait, what am I doing here? How did I go from office-dismal to sunny paridise?" Then I'd remember why I was there, what it was that had justified the emergency vacation. At first, when this happened, it would stress me out, because I was afraid I wasn't having enough fun to justify the vacation. But after a while I just let go--let myself be sad when I felt sad without giving myself a hard time about it.

My sister took an emergency vacation to Germany after she had a miscarriage at 4 months. She said the same thing happened to her--she'd wake up in the middle of the night trying to remember why she was there. Freaked her out.

Don't be surprised if this happens to you. Try not to let it stress you out.

And don't fret about letting a cycle go by without trying. You'll have much better chances of it working if you pamper yourself first (so I tell myself).

Have fun,

Babychaser

Cindy Nguyen said...

Great plan! have fun.

Freyja said...

"Also, I have dug myself into a hole at work and need to pull myself out of it quick. It is so difficult to concentrate on anything except my fertility. Not a good place to be."

I could have said that. Only instead of getting fired my clients will leave and not only will I let myself down I will have let my employees down too. Talk about guilt! Blech! Not good stuff!

I hope your vaca is fabulous!