I was able to spend two days with my favorite aunt who has cancer. She is my second mother. I am praying that she will be around for several more years but, she has a rare melenoma and is on her third tumor. My mom is ten years older than she and has been starting the show her age. She is extremely forgetful and has horrible arthritis. My mom hasn't been able to help me through this life crisis. But, my mom has never dealt well with hard issues. Her way of dealing is to pretend it isn't happening and hopefully it will just resolve itself. My aunt on the other hand heads straight into the fire. Consequently, people think my mother is the lovely one and my aunt the crazy one. My aunt has been the only family member that's gets me. Her crisis is different but, it illicits the same emotional response and requires the same coping techniques. She always asks me how I am and what's my next step. The day she found out about her third tumor was the day I miscarried. She was more concerned about me than herself. And, I was more concerned about her. That's what families do for each other. Or, that's what they are suppose to do for each other. I realize though that I can't expect people to handle more than they are capable of handling. Looking back over my life, I probably often ignored other peoples pain because I didn't get it for whatever reason. I am certainly a more compassionate person because of IF. Although, I wonder if I really needed to learn this lesson this way.
1 day ago