Monday, December 10, 2007

I'm Still Standing...

better than I've ever been...!!!!

Hmmmm...I am feeling pretty damn good!!! This cycle is so different from my last cycle. The biggest difference between the two is the supplement DHEA. I am not taking it this cycle. I refused. My doctor suggests it for "poor responders" over a certain age. I just don't think I am a poor responder. During my first cycle, I produced eight eggs and seven fertilized. We tranferred five on day three. I did not get pregnant. It was the first time I had taken hormones (my IUI's were natural). I had 10 eggs on my second cycle and all ten fertiltized. Yes, I had more eggs but, I was also on the maximum amount of drugs my doctor prescribes. It made perfect sense that I would have more eggs the second cycle.

I also don't believe more is better. I want quality not quantity. I will find out soon enough how I am doing this time around. I had a sono yesterday and had two follies. I purposely did not ask the doctor any information about sizes. I would just obsess over my progress and there is absolutely nothing I can do except stick to my protocol. I will probably undergo retrieval the 17th or 18th. I am adding a shot of Cetrotide tomorrow morning and will do blood and sono. I don't expect anymore drug changes at this point.

I should explain the difference between my IVF #2 and #3. During my last cycle, I had a fuzzy brain at the end of the BCP portion which rolled right into seriously bad PMS. I hated everyone including hubby and wanted to walk up to strangers and just smack them in their heads for no reason. So not like me!!! Thankfully, I still had some clarity and kept my hands to myself. I am not talking about my usual bad couple of days around my period when I might snap at few people. This was really weird. I was very agressive and complusive. My heart was constantly racing and I had two major panic attacks.

This cycle I am walking around with little birds singing around my head. No one is annoying me. I went Christmas shopping yesterday with Mr. G and enjoyed myself. Of course, Mz. Bitter does pop into my head every now and then with her nasty little thoughts. But, WOW...I feel...somewhat...normal! Ahhhh...maybe I shouldn't be writing this!!! I don't want to jinx myself. But, although I am feeling really good, I do worry that nothing is happening down there. I mean this is IVF, I should feel like a bulldozer plowed over me. I am not suppose to feel good!!! Or, maybe I should...

IVF #2 taught me to not be a guinea pig. The DHEA study is very small and not proven. If you are going to take it make sure it is perscription grade. Doctors in other fields who prescribe it do so at smaller doses and monitor the effects it has on your body. DHEA is the mother of all hormones and will produce or tell your body to produce hormones such as estrogen, progesterone and testosterone. I am not a medical professional. I have no way of proving that DHEA caused any problems in my mind and body. BUT, intuitively I believe it did. I would never tell anyone to not take it. I could be talking out of my arse and maybe this is the answer to our infertile prayers!

With that being noted, if this one supplement makes or breaks my cycle then so be it! I will live with my decision.


Yodasmistress said...

I say good for you. Trough all of my husband's medical problems and procedures and the IF, the one thing I've learned is not to trust the doctors. I don't know what the outcome of this cycle will be but I say good for you for standing up for youself and doing what you feel is right in your gut.

(Also, not be a statistic whore - since on an individual scale statistics are irrelevant anyway since we are discrete units - but the average number of cycles it takes most folks to concieve with IVF is 2.X. So this could be lucky #3. I really hope so!)

Pamela Jeanne said...

Hey, I found you through Yodas Mistress. I agree with your decision to do what you think is right for your body. I think too often physicians just throw the kitchen sink at patients hoping something works. Wishing you well on this cycle.